Going through a separation may not be easy. But it can be made easier if you arm yourself with the do’s and don’ts in family law.
Many family law solicitors will often recommend an extensive yet indispensable list you should follow.
Think of it as your first-steps practical guide to avoiding simple pitfalls anyone could make. And protecting you, your children and your assets in a clear practical way.
Knowing what to expect and understanding what’s really likely to be decided can be more than half the battle during family mediation. And help achieve a desired positive outcome in the divorce court.
In this article … we’ll go through the important do’s and don’ts to get you started with real confidence in navigating your way through the separation process.
Speak directly now to Dianne Grace.
Our experienced, compassionate family law and divorce lawyer will listen and advise on your specific circumstances and personal needs.
DO this first …
Stay calm
The number of Australians deciding to separate or divorce is not uncommon, especially over the last decade or more.
Separation and Divorce in Doncaster, Victoria
Census 2011 figures (latest available) show:
Doncaster % Victoria % Australia %
Separated 798 1.9 125,441 2.9 529,280 3.0
Divorced 2,527 6.1 339,497 7.8 1,460,899 8.4
(Source: Australian Bureau of Statistics)
Latest figures from the Australian Institute of Family Studies indicate there were 2.2 divorces per 1,000 Australians in 2021, up from 1.9 in 2020.
Nevertheless, going through a separation or divorce, especially when you have a child or children, can be a time of heightened emotions for all concerned.
Staying calm may not always be easy during family mediation sessions when claims and accusations may start to fly.
But it’s essential to always:
- Think first about what you say, or
- Action you take, including any communications, such as texts, emails or other online messages.
It’s always possible that an impulsive reaction could be used as negative evidence during the separation process or in a divorce court.
Now you must DO this …
Practical action
Change the door locks (front and rear) – if you are to remain living where you and your ex-partner previously resided together. It’s considered standard practice and will safeguard against your ex-partner freely entering and removing items.
Change your online access – by creating new passwords and PIN numbers for logging into all personal and private facilities, which you may have previously shared with your ex-partner. These would typically be for:
- All your devices (desktop PC, laptop, tablet and smartphone).
- All your personal emails.
- Banking and banking apps.
*MOST IMPORTANT*
Until your ex-partner’s access and use of a joint account card is stopped, keep a constant check on all transactions.
Contact your bank to ensure that all joint account transactions require both you and your ex-partners authority to withdraw for regular payments, such as savings and the mortgage.
Change/replace all previous “joint” account credit / debit cards
Open a new personal account in your own name with your own cards.
- Utilities ( electricity, gas, water, etc).
- Social platforms/ messaging apps.
At the same time …
Seek in-depth, professional advice of an experienced family law and divorce lawyer. Ideally a local practice you feel understands your circumstances, and you can trust to fight your corner every step of the way.
It’s crucial they also listen to you, as well as advise, and clearly explain what you need to do, right from the first consultation.
Next actions TO DO
Take photographs of all items of monetary value – which your ex-partner might easily remove, such as jewellery, watches or technical equipment. You may want to include other items of personal value such as gifts, music collections,
Collect together and securely store important documents, including:
- Personal – Passports, marriage certificates, birth certificates.
- Financial – Credit card and bank statements (min. last 3 years), income tax returns and assessments, insurance policies, trust deeds, wills and powers of attorney
- Vehicle – including registration, ownership, current insurance, roadworthy certificates, etc
Create and keep records of:
- Gifts, loans or other financial help from family or friends.
- Statements showing money leaving their account and entering your account.
- Proof of how money was used.
Talks and agreements with your ex-partner
DO try and agree:
Living arrangements – for both you, your ex-partner and your children – who should in their best interests, remain in the family home with the primary carer.
Mortgage payments – amount each party pays.
*IMPORTANT*
Write down every detail and safely keep everything you have agreed as your recorded notes can be referenced as evidence in the divorce court.
Separating? But worried about what your ex-partner might do?
Get practical legal advice now with our specialist family mediation and divorce lawyer services.
The big Don’ts
Do not – settle any financial matters without providing a clear and complete picture of all assets, most importantly, income and property. Hidden assets will eventually come to light, and a fair settlement can only be agreed when all assets are known.
Do not – attempt to sell, transfer or dispose of assets – business as well as personal – without your ex-partner giving their formal agreement.
Do not – attempt to use any current joint assets as security for loans without your ex-partner’s agreement.
Do not – agree to divide property without obtaining formal documentation and a Binding Financial Agreement (BFA). Verbal agreement alone is insufficient to protect against any future financial claim by an ex-partner.
Do not – sign any settlement documents without legal advice.
Do not – take legal advice from family or friends, ask them to negotiate on your behalf, or involve your children in separation talks and negotiations.
What you must do is to engage the services of a lawyer to help advise / negotiate on your behalf. Their professional knowledge and experience will safeguard you from demanding unrealistic expectations or making promises you cannot keep.
What To DO when seeking advice from top divorce lawyers
Whether you seek legal advice from a local top divorce lawyer in Doncaster, Melbourne or elsewhere, here’s what you should always do:
Do – provide honest and complete answers to all questions they ask. Withholding any information is unlikely to be in your best interests.
Do – ask any questions, no matter how small or trivial you may think they are. It may be important!
Do – listen carefully to all the advice your lawyer provides each step of the way. It will be what they know you need to hear to help you move forward.
Do – allocate a realistic amount of time and money that you really are prepared to spend on discussions, mediation and negotiating your separation.
Do – try to negotiate fairly and reasonably, and try to reach an agreement as promptly as you can.
Summary
- Staying calm and focused throughout the process of separation is essential.
- First, take practical action such as changing door locks and your online logins / passwords.
- Change all your banking / financial arrangements, such as cancelling joint credit/debit cards and opening a new account in only your name.
- Ensure all utility bills, mortgage /rental payments continue to be made.
- Photograph, record and itemise all your personal and household effects, including valuables, such as jewellery.
- Do not sell, dispose or agree to any financial, property or other material assets without seeking qualified family law advice.
- It’s all-important to engage an experienced family divorce lawyer to help advise / negotiate you on your behalf.
FAQs
Q: What’s the very first action to take when separating in Australia?
A: Agree the date you and your partner will separate. Writing down the date of separation is important because of likely time limits imposed on making a property settlement claim or a divorce application.
Q: Who stays in the family home when separating in Australia?
A: There’s no legal requirement on either partner to move out after separation.
Regardless of being married, living together or “in a relationship”, both partners have a right to “stay under the same roof” until all property matters have been finalised.
Q: Is a husband legally required to support his wife during separation in Australia?
A: Under the Family Law Act 1975, the husband is responsible for providing financial support to their spouse or partner if they are unable to do so from their personal income or assets.
Decisions over child custody, future care and wellbeing need to be handled sensitively every step of the way.
